The affirmative model of Consent
The Californian law states:
“Affirmative consent” means affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. It is the responsibility of each person involved in the sexual activity to ensure that he or she has the affirmative consent of the other or others to engage in the sexual activity.
Then why should a woman have to SAY ‘NO’ or ‘STOP’ or ‘DON’T?!
If she looks uncomfortable;
If she looks scared;
If she puts her hand out;
If she tries to walk away;
If she tries to step back
…all of it MEANS NO!!!
Sometimes pop culture gets it right
You may have noticed that in some of these examples, the encounter ends with no encounter. No sex, no kiss. Being careful about consent sometimes means not having sex you might otherwise have had. Think for a moment about what that implies. When you’re not careful about consent, you’re taking a real chance that some of the sex you’re having isn’t consensual.
Consent is also important in a marriage
“What is the difference between Marital Rape and Rape? There is no difference. It’s the same thing. If there is no consent…if you are forcing yourself on your wife, it is rape. Except here she probably does hope that death will do you apart. In fact I think Marital Rape is worse. Because not only are you sexually violated, you have to wake up the next morning and make your rapist breakfast. That is horrible.”