Ashwini's Perceptions -
  • Home
  • Feminism & Other Social Issues
    • A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter)
    • Environment
  • Pop culture
  • Fiction
  • Poems
  • Interviews
    • #AuthorChatter
  • Hindi
  • Published Articles
Home
Feminism & Other Social Issues
    A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter)
    Environment
Pop culture
Fiction
Poems
Interviews
    #AuthorChatter
Hindi
Published Articles
Ashwini's Perceptions -
  • Home
  • Feminism & Other Social Issues
    • A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter)
    • Environment
  • Pop culture
  • Fiction
  • Poems
  • Interviews
    • #AuthorChatter
  • Hindi
  • Published Articles
A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism, Fiction

An Uncharacteristic Friendship #FlashFiction

April 24, 2018 by ashwini 22 Comments

 

They were poles apart. Pavi was very shy and the teacher’s pet. Ravi was naughty and a troublemaker. Pavi was plump and had a cute dimple. Ravi’s hair was always messed up and would usually go home with at least one bruise on some part of the body. Both were 8 years old, lived in the same society and went to the same class in the same school.
But Ravi & Pavi were never apart. Nobody understood their friendship but they understood each other very well. They loved playing in the park together. While Pavi painted, Ravi would play video games. When Ravi burped, Pavi applauded. When Ravi’s Sixer would break a window, Pavi would  be made to flash those sweet dimples and apologize on Ravi’s behalf. Pavi was sensitive and would often cry. Ravi would know when to be supportive and when to give space.
All would have gone perfectly fine if one day the boys from the neighbourhood building had not come strolling into the park the best friends played in.
As usual Ravi was being mischievous. Pavi had a bar of chocolate that Ravi snatched and ran away with. Pavi knew that Ravi was too fast and gave up the race. Upset and hungry, Pavi began to cry.

Continue reading

Reading time: 3 min
A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

Toxic Masculinity and its impacts on men and women

April 23, 2018 by ashwini 18 Comments

Pic source: www.timeforanawakening.com

What it is not?
The term ‘Toxic masculinity’ was not coined for men-bashing. It is not an implication that masculinity is toxic in itself. Toxic masculinity is a serious issue that must be dealt with. It’s important to note that all men do not succumb to such behaviours.
What it is?
According to Wikipedia: The concept of toxic masculinity is used in psychology and gender studies to refer to certain norms of masculine behavior in North America and Europe that are associated with harm to society and to men themselves.
Associate Professor of Psychology at University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, Dr. Ryan McKelley has his own running definition of the term that explains it well:

“attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors culturally associated with boys/men/masculinity that result in covert and overt bias/prejudice/subjugation/oppression/victimization of self and/or others. This includes the domination of others, misogyny and devaluation of women, homophobia, transphobia, and violence (including homicide and suicide).” 

Continue reading

Reading time: 5 min
A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

Why normalizing ’Sexual Objectification’ is dangerous

April 22, 2018 by ashwini 17 Comments

Pic: Skyy vodka ad campaign

What does Sexual Objectification mean?

Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person as a mere object of sexual desire– one that serves another’s sexual pleasure.
When did the term originate?
The phrase “sexual objectification” has been around since the 1970s. Women have been objectified for as long as women have been used for men’s sexual pleasure. If earlier it meant strip tease shows, brothels, and pornographic art, today, it is rampant in our mainstream pop-culture.
How do you know if someone is sexually objectified or not?

Continue reading

Reading time: 6 min
A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Featured, Feminism

Rape Culture Is Real

April 20, 2018 by ashwini 20 Comments
Source: thedailybanter.com

We feel bad. We shake our head. Yet another rape. Another gangrape. ‘Kya hoga is country ka?’ And we go back to sipping our tea. Little do we know that we are adding fuel to the fire. Yes, my friends, we are propagating the rape culture.

The title image indicates just what Rape Culture is about. If Rape Culture dismisses rape…it dismisses itself as well!

Rape is “the violation of another person’s autonomy, the use of another person’s body against their wishes.”
Rape culture is…

Source:The Quint
This mentality is deep-rooted and is the reason why we have been hearing of so many rape cases in the news of late. Rape culture does not imply promoting rape. It’s an undercurrent in our cultural practices that makes excuses for sexual violence.
Here is a video that speaks of the Rape Culture prevalent in Haryana. (I have mentioned this in a previous post but would like to highlight it here.)
Here are some excerpts from the video that will make you seethe in anger: 
‘Rape is Consensual’ 

“Once a girl turns 14 or 15, you can’t call it rape after that. There is always consent.”
– An elderly man in Mankawas village, Charkhi Dadri district 

“Blame the victim” 

“The girl has to have done something wrong, that’s why she’s been raped.”
– A Class 8 boy from Bhiwani 

“Both the boy and the girl have done something wrong. Then why is it that only the boy is held responsible? The girl gets to stay at home, the boy is sent to jail. What sort of a law is this?”
– Mother of a rape accused in the Charkhi Dadri district

This is our world. And let me tell you…it was always this way. 

Rape culture is not just prevalent in Haryana. It is everywhere. Women have historically been considered second-class citizens who were not thought to deserve the same rights as their male counterparts. Our patriarchal system is the reason why we think and behave this way. 
In a fellow blogger, Kanika’s blog post I read that it was believed that a female orgasm is essential for conception. So if an alleged rape results in a pregnancy, then it can’t be a rape at all, because the woman experienced pleasure! The truth is that an orgasm is involuntary and can occur during rape. This does not take away from the heinousness of the crime. 
And rape culture is the sad reality that in 127 countries rape within marriage is still not considered a crime, including in India!

The system of rape culture affects men too

“Toxic masculinity”. is a gender stereotype burdening the men in society, depicting them as sexually driven, violent beings. This is the reason why men do not complain when they are raped. They are ashamed of the trauma. 

Want to hear how the issues of rapes can be solved? 

A Khap Panchyat member Sube Singh had given a bizzare ‘solution’ to the ‘rapes’ and suggested that the marriageable age for girls should be reduced to 16 years. He later blamed movies and television for rapes. 

A friend asked me if rapes will stop if we legalize prostitution. Or if it will stop if we fast track cases for speedy justice. Sure these measures will help. We must do everything we can to ensure that lesser women feel unsafe. We need legal reforms, policy reforms. more structures in place that allow women to feel safe enough to raise their voice against assaults. Marital Rape must be made a criminal offense in India. 
But its more important that we change our behaviours and mental attitudes to prevent rapes

1) We should not just say ‘Aur ek rape ho gaya’ and move on with our lives 
As a society, we cannot turn our heads against what is happening around us. We must raise our voices. We must encourage women to name and shame their abusers. We must not let our fandom or our ostrich mentality get in the way of justice. 
2) We should not declare that rape is consensual 
We need to support and be part of as many organizations as we can to change the mentality that rape = sex and rape cannot occur without consent. Rape is not sex and whenever force is used for sex without the other’s consent, it is rape. 
3) We should not declare that the victim is at fault
Going back to the definition of rape: “the violation of another person’s autonomy, the use of another person’s body against their wishes.” That means the rapist is always at fault, not the victim. 

4) We should not think that marrying the rapist solves the problem 
Again, please look at the definition. The crime of being forced to do something against their will can’t suddenly stop being a crime because of marriage. 
5) We should not doubt the Victim 
Yesterday, Ali Zafar, the Pakistani singer was accused of sexual harassment by another singer. The news broke out in the morning. During the day, as usual there were a bunch of celebrities who came out saying they didn’t know the facts of the case, but Ali could not have done it. Of, course a lot of fans showed their support. Really? Fandom before empathy? And towards the end of the day, we had more women come forward with allegations. Why do people judge the victim or doubt her instead of giving her the benefit of doubt?! Is it because most men find it easy to be in the shoes of the man and not the woman? 
6) We should not support Rape Jokes 
This angers me more than anything. How can anything about rape by funny? Why do we dismiss it? It is imperative that we do not create, share, like or encourage any jokes that objectify women. It’s not that women can’t handle jokes. But rape jokes are a no-no. 
7) We should boycott our misogynist pop culture 
We all know how anyone with a conscience feels when we see such stories. These get made because we watch them. And because they get made, we watch them. Why does a smoking scene require a disclaimer and an item number doesn’t!? Maybe because in some movies… the whole time the movie is played we’ll need the disclaimer: ‘Objectifying women is wrong’ !! It’s a vicious cycle. Let’s put an end to this. 
8) We should not indulge in Gender stereotyping 
Women and men don’t “have” to do anything or be anyone. This is the root of the problem. Men don’t need to be “macho” or “powerful” and women don’t need to be “submissive”. 
9) We should teach our children well
We need children to be taught how to behave with women and with other boys when they speak about women. We must teach them the importance of consent. That’s how we ensure a better future. 
10) We should not allow our politicians to get away from discharging their responsibilities
We must not allow people in power do any or all of the above. We must hold our politicians accountable for the safety of our women.

What are your thoughts on the rape culture and on the recent situation in our country? Do share your views.

Reading time: 6 min
A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism, Pop culture

Are the 2 ‘Queens’ of our Entertainment Industry Feminist Icons?

April 18, 2018 by ashwini 23 Comments
Kangana Ranaut at Ira Khan's wedding reception
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ekta_Kapoor Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kangana_Ranaut
Are all influential women automatically Feminists?
I have been wondering about this for a while.  Of course men can also be Feminists. But do we confuse power with Feminism when it comes to women? Let us try and figure this out by taking examples of two women who are at the top of their game: Ekta Kapoor – the undisputed Queen of TV and Kangana Ranut- Queen of the Hindi film industry (in more than one way). 
 
I must confess that I love listening and/or reading interviews of powerful women of today. It gives me a lot of motivation to follow my own path. While Kangana Ranaut has been in the news very often owing to her outspokenness, it was a recent TED talk by Ekta Kapoor that made me realize that Ekta Kapoor also has had to break some barriers to reach the position she is in right now. She may be rebuked for her regressive serials and her intense beliefs in religious rituals, astrology and numerology (Did you know that even for the TED talk, Ekta had a condition based on her astrologer’s advice: she would speak for exactly five minutes and forty seconds, not a second more or one less?!), but no one can dispute the success she has had.

Is Ekta Kapoor a Feminist? 

Read on to know… (Excerpts below are from her interview with Huffington Post) 

 
“TV started telling stories of women.” 
 
Ekta said in the Huffington Post interview that “There was a time in films when only stories of men were told. The hero was a man, the villain was a man and the women only danced around.” Her successful TV shows – Hum Paanch, Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi or Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki definitely depicted strong women who were central characters who enjoyed majority of the screen time. Was this because it is a fact that most TV viewers are women and her market research was on point? Sure. But she still gets points for Feminism. 
 
“I said sex and sanskaar are two aspects of the same woman.” 
 
Ekta has received a lot of flak for showing her women as ‘Sanskari’ in her TV shows. She argues that TV has a lot of restrictions. It is watched with the family which means the mother or the wife can’t watch everything with her children and husband. She said…
 
Source: Huffington Post
She may have a point here, but by pandering to audience, and what it likes she becomes a part of the problem.

Then she makes a ‘bold’ film like Lipstick Under My Burkha that talks about the sexual urges that women have. She says that ‘it makes me more determined in my resolve to make the film work to prove them wrong’. A film like that ought to have been made and kudos to her for making it. The negative points for her sanskari shows and positive point for dealing with a real issue in Lipstick cancel each other out. 
 
Feminism along with Objectification
 
A. This is how Ekta defends her shows: 
 
a) Ekta states that according to Boston Research Group, from 2001 to 2005, the TV shows are the real reason why women at home actually took on family decision-making, because Tulsi and Parvati (the protagonists from her TV shows Kyunki Saas Bhi Kbhi Bahu Thi & Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki) did it. 
 
b) The issue of ‘marital rape’ was taken up in Kyunki when Tulsi kills her son for it. 
 
Let’s give Ekta gets positive points for incorporating these important issues in story plots . 
 
B. This is how Ekta defends her Films:
 
In her films like Kya Kool Hai Hum and Great Grand Masti the women are highly objectified. This is how she defends it: 
 
“If I think about it, Kya Kool Hai Hum was crass. That I will say. But being crass and being anti-feminist are two different things.” “I will make Kya Kool Hai Hum 4, 5 and more, films with as much as sex as possible because I have a problem with sexual crimes, not sex.” 
 
From the above, it is clear that either Ekta doesn’t know the meaning of Objectification or she is desperately trying to defend her actions. From Wikipedia: Female sexual objectification by a male involves a woman being viewed primarily as an object of male sexual desire, rather than as a whole person. Since she is not even aware of the negative impact of such depiction in her movies, she gets negative points for Feminism. 

Again the positive and negatives cancel each other out. 
 
Ekta Kapoor, the person
 
Jeetendra with his son Tusshar and daughter Ekta.jpg
By Bollywood Hungama, CC BY 3.0, Link

Before you can say ‘nepotism’ let me remind you that Tusshar Kapoor (with the extra S and everything!) is not as successful as his sister. Unfortunate for Tusshar, but this speaks a lot about her family’s progressive attitude and her talent as well as skills. Becoming a TV mogul and making an identity for oneself with a father as famous as Jitendra is special. In her TED talk, she spoke about she had to deal with patriarchal mindsets. She said that media professionals saw the rejected pilots and asked him why he was investing in her ‘hobby’ of producing TV serials. She emphasized on the need to work after marriage because “When nothing else stays with you, your work does.” She leaves the audience with inspiring words that one must find the gold within themselves instead of their fathers buying gold for their daughter’s future. The Queen of TV has made her mark on the big and small screen with over 90 TV show and 30 films, which in itself is no mean feat. She is now set to conquer the micro screen with her new offering ALT Balaji which will create content for the digital medium. 
 
From the above, it is clear that while Ekta Kapoor’s story in itself is inspiring and breaks many stereotypes, her work may not entirely reflect it. 
 
Is Kangana Ranaut a Feminist?
 
She speaks her mind. She is unapologetic. She is fearless. She is bold. These are the attributes associated with Kangana Ranaut. They are also what make her stand out for the rest of the actresses. I must admit, I am a Kangana fan- of the actress and the person she is. But is she a Feminist? Let us find out. 
 
Says no to Fairness Creams

She does not endorse fairness creams The actress does not like the way such ads are presented, and thinks that such ads do hurt the confidence of darker people, especially women. Kangana also mentioned that her sister, too is a little dark, so endorsing a fairness cream would mean insulting her own sister and the rest of the community who aren’t fair. 

 
Supports Acid Attack Survivors

She did not hide, rather spoke up when an obsessive lover threw acid on her sister Rangoli. This is commendable. Rangoli’s story gave so many women the inspiration to survive such horrendous acts. “We Don’t Glorify The Right Heroes”, she says. And that’s so true. 

 
Stands up for gender equality
She has gone on record to say something no Hindi Film actress has said ever- that she would rather not work with the Khan’s in the industry if it meant playing an unequal part. This is something most of the male actors will not go on record to say! The fact that she is so confident of her abilities to demand to be treated at par with the male superstars is inspirational. If more actresses took a stand like Kangana, it will improve the gender inequalityin our films. More screen time for women would mean more songs and we will get to hear more songs from our talented women playback singers! 
 
Stands up for equal opportunities for all

Her open proclamation of the widely prevalent nepotism in the film industry had many people follow suit. Everyone knew it but no one had the guts to stick their neck out. When people who are not deserving, get preference solely because of their social influence, there are many others missing out on those opportunities. 

 
 
Kangana Ranaut at Chandon launch.jpg
By Bollywood Hungama, CC BY 3.0, Link

Is candid and open about her life and does not play the victim card

There were many who attacked Kangana for washing her dirty linen in public when she spoke candidly about her past relationship mistakes. Singer, Sona Mohaptra wrote an open letter admonishing Kangana for her ‘publicity stunt’. And many would agree with her. I don’t think Sona said anything objectionable really. But as highlighted in this article, Sona has no right to ask Kangana to not express herself. The author explains how women are prohibited from expressing themselves historically. That is why we have very few autobiographies of women. If the story of a woman doesn’t fit in the mould of society, then it must not be told. Kangana broke this mould and how. Don’t girls have relationships? Don’t they make mistakes? Don’t they break their heart? Then why hide it? Why can only men live real lives while the women have to stay invisible? Kangana did not play the victim card-she always told her stories as though she had made peace with it all. She showed a lot of courage by opening up about an abusive relationship and also egged women to go to the police if they were in a similar situation. 

 
Raises her voice against the objectification of women in movies 

Kangana’s always played strong women characters – right from her earlier not-so popular films such as Gangster or Woh Lamhe to her recent films such as Tanu weds Manu, Queen or Simran. Film Kangana refuses to be a part of ‘Item Numbers’ because they objectify women. In a collaboration with AIB, a popular Indian comedy sketch group, Kangana Ranaut calls out the Hindi Film industry for its widespread sexism in a viral video. You can read the on-point lyrics of this parody item number– ‘The Bollywood Diva Song’ here. 

 
From the above, it is quite clear the confident and talented actress is a spokesperson for Feminism. She is my role model, because I like outspoken people. Is she perfect? No. Has she had her foot in the mouth more than once? Yes. But all of us have flaws.

To conclude…

 
Both Ekta Kapoor and Kangana Ranaut are influential members of the Hindi Film Industry today – in fact Ekta maybe more powerful than Kangana. As members of the entertainment industry, both Ekta and Kangana have some core responsibilities- to entertain their audience while also furthering their careers. In my opinion Ekta took lesser chances than Kangana to support the cause of gender equality. Is it mandatory for everyone in the entertainment industry to utilize their powers for a greater good? Certainly. Is it possible? Yes. And yet very celebrities worth their salt will do it. According to me, everyone should believe in equal opportunities for all genders. And it is imperative that women who reach powerful positions, be more supportive of other women so that it becomes easier for the next generation to break the glass ceiling. 
 
We, as consumers of various forms of entertainment also have a responsibility– to be more open to ideas that are new and progressive. If we continue to support and consume content that confirms with rigid ideas, that is what will be made. Also, what gets reflected on screen is usually what takes place in our society. Once the world we live in is more inclusive and less regressive, that’s what we will get to see in our stories as well.
Reading time: 10 min
Page 2 of 6«1234»...Last »

About me

image Labels that make me, me: #FreelanceWriter #Instawriter #Blogger #Narcissisticabuse survivor #HighlySensitivePerson (#HSP) #Empath #Introvert #Feminist

I try and keep my writing as honest as possible and write from my experiences. If you like reading heart-felt long posts on contemporary and relatable topics, you have reached the right place!

I also enjoy interviewing interesting personalities. If you are an author, a blogger, an entrepreneur, a sportsperson, or someone who believes your lifestory must be told, I am all ears! I would love to share it with the world. :)

Socialize with me

Categories

  • #AuthorChatter
  • A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter)
  • Blogger Interactions
  • Cricket
  • Environment
  • Featured
  • Feminism
  • Fiction
  • Hindi
  • Humour
  • Interviews
  • Musings
  • Poems
  • Pop culture
  • Sports
Ashwini's Perceptions

Popular Posts

Rape Culture Is Real

Rape Culture Is Real

Don’t let Gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse make you forget your true self

Don’t let Gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse make you forget your true self

What Women Don’t Want

What Women Don’t Want

Conversations about Gender Representation in Films and the Bechdel Test

Conversations about Gender Representation in Films and the Bechdel Test

Recent Posts

  • Be Brave enough to be Vulnerable just like these Indian Celebrities
  • Interview with Romila (Novemberschild), Author of ‘Midnight Musings’ #ashasks
  • Interview with Surbhi Mahobia, Author of ‘Ten Tales’ #ashasks
  • Interview with Priyanka, Author of ‘How I wrote my Comic Book: The Journey’ #ashasks
  • Interview with Dr. Amrita Basu, Author of ‘7 Blogging challenges for a successful blog’ #ashasks

Recent Comments

  • Ashwini S. Menon on A Message in a Bottle: Flash Fiction for World Environment Day
  • Kanika G on A Message in a Bottle: Flash Fiction for World Environment Day
  • Ashwini S. Menon on A Message in a Bottle: Flash Fiction for World Environment Day
  • Surbhi Mahobia on A Message in a Bottle: Flash Fiction for World Environment Day
  • Ashwini S. Menon on Abort the Growing Sexism in You because Evolution Demands it

Archives: Jump to the blog post you are looking for

  • April 2023 (1)
  • August 2018 (6)
  • July 2018 (11)
  • June 2018 (1)
  • May 2018 (3)
  • April 2018 (26)
  • March 2018 (2)
  • February 2018 (1)
  • May 2015 (1)
  • April 2015 (1)
  • January 2015 (1)
  • March 2012 (1)
  • March 2010 (2)
  • October 2008 (2)
  • February 2007 (1)
  • November 2006 (1)
  • March 2006 (4)
Visit BlogAdda.com to discover Indian blogs
© 2018 Ashwini's Perceptions
Designed with ❤ by Aadhyam ICS
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Okay