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Ashwini's Perceptions -
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    • A-Z Challenge 2018
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Blogger Interactions, Musings

Looking back… #AtoZ Challenge Reflections

May 3, 2018 by ashwini 28 Comments
Warnings:
1) I have poured my heart out here – so some bits maybe incoherent and unusually emotional (no research here people – just naked thoughts!)
2) This is a long post of 2700+ words
I thought I would give a brief background about how I ended up taking the A-Z challenge. Then my emotions took over and I ended up writing 933 words on the background alone! So I have split this post into 3 parts. In case you wish to skip the background, and want to only read about my experience in the A-Z challenge, you could do so by skipping the first and moving directly to the second section.
The Background
 
The A-Z Challenge – Insights & Thank You’s
 
The Future
Continue reading
Reading time: 16 min
Musings

Kites

May 4, 2015 by ashwini 1 Comment

It was a Sunday. I was irritable. I felt like doing nothing. I picked up a book and began reading it on my bed. Engaged for a while, I got bored soon. I glanced up and saw a window-full of pleasant clear blue sky. Oh what was that? Was it a bird? A small tuft of runaway cloud? Gosh! An unstable flying object perhaps?? Intrigued, I kept my book aside and moved towards the window sill. Oh a white kite flying high in the sky! It was so far in the distance, it appeared like a small white dot. Wobbly at first, it steadied itself as it rose. With its tail invisible, it created a lone white ripple on the cloudless sky. Suddenly there was another one that caught my attention. Also white. Rising swiftly as though to beat the other kite in a race. The kites sometimes floated close to one another. Sometimes they were far apart. There were moments when they flew one above another. I was gleefully following the trajectory of the kites through the window pane. At one point in time, the kites alligned themselves next to one another. I was amazed to see the two speckles situate themselves at the centre of a stain that had assumed a flattish U shape on the window. I smiled back at the beaming formation.

I looked around waiting for more action in the blue. Sure enough I saw a third kite (appeared to be white again!) join its compatriots. While they hovered, I noticed them come together and form the three points of a long dancing hat. This was so entertaining! The kites continued to sway around unaware of my now undivided attention. As though listening to my thoughts, they reversed their positions to create an upside down triangle and I pictured a long sad face of a dog.

After a while, a fourth kite (I know the odds are high of this one also being white – but it was I swear!) rose from the west. It was lovely to see the four kites playing merrily in the sky. They slowly lined up one after another and I was thrilled to see the four finger-holes of a small flute being formed. The four white specks were floating perhaps to the beat of the music emanating from the flute.

The kites had been happily twirling about for almost 10 minutes now. Watching them have so much fun had lifted my spirits. At the exact moment of the afore-mentioned realization, it all literally went downhill! All four kites tumbled one after another in a downward spiral; like the last drops of a fountain. Poof! They disappeared! Did the wind play spoil-sport or did they cut each other’s threads? The latter seemed more plausible. The spectacular ‘telepathic’ show was over. Vast expanses of blue was all that I could see from the window. I waited, for the white spots to re-appear and prance about. I wished to see the grinning face again. And while I waited I wondered- why can’t all kites, of all colours, stay afloat always? Why try and tug competitively at each other’s only tether? Sigh! After all there is enough sky!

Reading time: 2 min
Musings

Its not about the money

January 1, 2015 by ashwini No Comments
Its not about the money.
Its not about the dumb dumb da da da dumb.
I dont think its funny.
When you become its slave.
And I think you got it all wrong anyway…

Reading time: 1 min
Musings

Pain

March 26, 2010 by ashwini 1 Comment

Pain, be it short lived or excruciating, always leaves behind a scar in its place. Something to remember the dark emotion. There is sweet pain- pain you feel from reliving the memories from a long lost friend. And there is crushing pain- the deepest level of depression. But like the wound that heals, the pain must subside. In the recent past, whenever things have gone really wrong, I have been told, and I have in turn told others including myself – ‘Its ok, things will get better. The pain will go away and happier days will come again.’ Physical pain can subside with medication. The emotional tugs – constant tugs at your heart are tougher to handle. Sometimes we even camouflage our pained feelings – with anger or worse, normalcy. And then when the feelings well-up like the septic wound, we hunt for the immediate solution. We try to subside the surface pain but leave the wound exposed. Reaching out for a pitcher of beer or a tub of ice-cream or worse a combination, will only cause serious health problems hours after the immediate ‘mood up-lifting’ experience is over.

If you drink the morning after your hung over – your head-ache only gets worse. We know this but somehow we tend to repeat the same mistakes we have made in the past and keep experiencing the pain over and over. Soon the pain is something you get used to. Something that becomes a part of your life. You know you are in deep trouble when you cant acknowledge that life is precious – life‘s moments are precious.

Pain is an anomaly. A deviation. One way of dealing with it is – you tell yourself it won’t happen again. You have learnt your lesson. You will move on in life and forget your past so that the sunken feeling goes way. But before you find ways to move on you need to first believe you can. And for that you need to introspect. I have fought introspection. Just could not do it. Now it has caught up with me. I know I want to hear myself aloud. I want to ask myself questions I don’t want to hear the answers to. But these answers put everything in perspective – get me the reality check I want to avoid. I want to introspect now in between work- at the expense of work even. And work was my excuse earlier to not have time to introspect! I think dealing with pain is similar to dealing with fear – face it, accept it and then you can fight it.

Knowing that I have dealt with pain in the past gives me the faith that I can cross the bridge when I come to it. But I’d rather feel pain than be numb. Lets me know I am alive. And normal.

Reading time: 2 min
Musings

Inspired

October 16, 2008 by ashwini 1 Comment

Who needs to look at celebrities / iconic personalities to be inspired? I get inspired by my peers. By those who have achieved so much …overcome so many hardships and are writing their own success stories. Inspired by people who are able to bare their souls… display their emotions and flaws… making others like me to feel good about myself. Inspired by those who are happy with their jobs and motivated to do so much more. Inspired by those who set impossible-seeming goals for themselves. Inspired by those who are able to write thirty things they like about themselves. Inspired by those who are able to tell the whole world they got their heart broken twice in the same year. Inspired by people who are able to be organised about daily expenditures. Inspired by those who are always smiling and helping others…even going out of their way to do so! Inspired to do more than what is expected of you. Inspired to dream- and believe that they will come true. Inspired to be passionate. Inspired to change!

Reading time: 1 min
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About me

image Dreamer. Untamed Spirit. Freelance Writer & Blogger.

I try and keep my writing as honest as possible and write from the perspective of a 'Happy Feminist'. If you like reading heart-felt long posts on contemporary and relatable topics, you have reached the right place!

I also enjoy interviewing interesting personalities. If you are an author, a blogger, an entrepreneur, a sportsperson, or someone who believes your lifestory must be told, I am all ears! I would love to share it with the world. :)

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