A-Z of Feminism – Ashwini's Perceptions

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism, Poems

One for all and all for one: Feminists & the Queer (Poem)

April 16, 2018 by ashwini 24 Comments

Equality does not discriminate.

The rights of the woman or man

Or the queer one’s fate

Is not for the supreme power

To calculate.

There is need to educate.

Being born as a girl

And not a boy, does not make you inadequate.

Being queer is natural,

It’s not a joke or illness, so don’t humiliate.

We must contemplate.

Why the queers are not allowed

To procreate.

They also can’t marry or parent

Lest they contaminate?

Accept, don’t differentiate.

Let her race wearing her spikes

Or lead in her heels in a corporate

She can choose to marry or not

Or celebrate her same sex soul mate.

Recognize talent that’s innate.
Why stare at her assets

Or laugh at his effeminate voice to subjugate?

Equal pay for equal efforts

Should be a basic mandate.

Victory is but a stalemate.

Misogyny and Homophobia

Reduce us to slave state.

The same traditions and customs

Also make you suffocate.

Time to embrace and liberate.

Aren’t we all

Just as ‘queer’ as we are straight?

Ditch the binary. Adopt the plural.

Let us give our gender norms an update.

We won’t yield. So don’t dominate.

We are unified against oppression.

We won’t let you manipulate.

Feminists and the Queer- we have but one aim,

Patriarchy, soon you shall disintegrate.

The destination of a Feminist and the LGBTQ+ community is the same, then why should our journeys be different?

Note: When I use the word queer in quotes, I refer to it being strange or odd. But when I use it without quotes, I refer to the umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual and/or not cisgender.

Reading time: 1 min

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

In the ‘Name’ of Gender Inequality

April 15, 2018 by ashwini 18 Comments

We are not born with a name. It is a social construct. But it forms a huge part of our identity. Ideally it is only in unavoidable circumstances that one would change it.

What are the reasons why men would change their name?

1) For want of a better name: Parents named you Chintu? Simple enough reason for a man of legal age to change his name!

2) For easy pronunciation: Indian names with many syllables are very difficult to pronounce making it difficult for its bearer to want to survive abroad – so Kalpen Suresh Modi split his first name to become Kal Penn. I wonder if Chan Kong-Sang would have been as famous as the Jackie Chan if he had not changed his name!

3) For a certain gravitas: Of course we know a lot of Hindi film actors who changed their names to add some persona to their names: Harihar Jethalal Jariwala became Sanjeev Kumar, Jaikishen Kaku Bhai became Jackie Shroff (Jackie seems to be a very lucky name but err…did not work for Jackky Bhagnani did it? Oh but he spells it slightly differently! More on that later…) All of this makes sense. Why Sunny and Bobby are better that Ajay and Vijay… I don’t know!!

4) For preventing discrimination: A lot of men from Bihar from lower caste adopted the generic ‘Kumar’ meaning ‘son’ in order to not reveal their backgrounds. Dileep Kumar changed his name from Mohammed Yusuf Khan in order to ensure that the anti-Islamic elements did not affect his popularity.

5) For numerological reasons: Rajkummar Rao added an extra ‘m’ to his name for numerological reason. Notably, he earlier identified himself as Rajkumar Yadav. He says he dropped the ‘Yadav’ because did not want to be mistaken as Rajpal Yadav, another actor in the Hindi Film industry. But it could also be for the same reason as stated in the earlier point.

6) When you change your religion: Music legend, A R Rahman was born Dileep Kumar (I know irony right?). When he adopted the religion of Islam, he changed his name to All-Rakha Rahman.

7) For showing support to their mothers and wives: Did this reason shock you? Hindi Filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali dropped his father’s name from his and replaced it with his mother as a tribute to her. Journalist and columnist, Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar, made his wife’s (Shahnaz Anklesaria Aiyar) maiden name a part of his name in a move that put him in some august company. The Beatles band member John Lennon became John Winston Ono Lennon when he added his wife, Yoko Ono’s maiden name. Oh and BTW, John wanted to drop ‘Winston’ but he wasn’t allowed to revoke a name given at birth! There are several other Hollywood celebrities who adopted their wives’ names.

The above was not meant to be an exhaustive list. The point I was trying to make was that if a man had to change the name he was born with – he did it because he wished to. There was no rule book, there was no custom requiring him to do so.

What are the reasons a woman has to change her name?

A woman could technically choose to change her name for all the reasons a man would. But usually she ends up changing her name (mostly the surname or last name but sometimes the first name as well!) when she gets married- as a way to show her allegiance to the family she is marrying into. She has very little choice in the matter and it would be seen as breaking tradition if she didn’t do so.

How much time goes into changing your name?

The actual name change process may take around 1 month. But then you have to update a whole lot of documents – at your Workplace, Banks, Credit Cards, Driver’s License, Pan Card, Passport, Adhaar Card, Ration Card, voter ID card etc. It could easily take 6 months to a year or more, depending upon the efficiency of several government agencies. And in between all these name changes, you will have to roam around with your Marriage Certificate and name change documents to prove to people why you are not a terrorist trying to assume a new identity!

Earlier, a name change would not require so much effort. Today it is a long drawn procedure. These practical aspects must be taken into consideration before following traditions blindly.

Is it easy to get used to a new name?

When women in India change their names post marriage i.e. a good two decades into their lives, it could take months or years to get used to it. I can’t imagine how long it took actress Hazel Keech (wife of Indian Cricketer Yuvraj Singh) to get used to the name Gurbasant Kaur!

Aap Ms. ho ki Mrs.?

Say you do not change your name. The nation still wants to know if you’re married or not. So they will ask you if you are ‘Ms.’ or ‘Mrs.’! Interestingly, both are abbreviations of the root word ‘Mistress’ (i.e. the female equivalent of ‘Mister’) and neither were supposed to carry any marital connotation! The Mr., short for Mister of course never needed any indicator of his marriage status.

Aeji, Oji, Suniyeji

So while the wife is getting used to her new name, she must restrain herself from taking her hubby’s! Ok, so you can get your head around this a bit. There is usually a large age-gap between the spouses and we respect our elders.

Making ‘Gender Equality’ a household name

In my case – I feel like I have the best of both worlds. Belonging to a Nair community in Kerala, prior to marriage, I had my mother’s surname and my father’s name next to mine. When I got married, I replaced my father’s name with my husband’s but continue to use my mother’s surname. It makes me feel like I have connected my past with my future. While there was still some name change involved and frustrating documentation to be done, I still feel that I don’t have such a raw deal as a lot of women. And that’s heart-breaking.

The way I look at it is that as long as patrilocality exists (i.e. when a wife moves into the husband’s family home), the wife will be expected to take the family name. My guess is that as more and more nuclear families come about with both spouses contributing equally to the household, there will be less and less familial pressures to follow customs blindly. Today hyphenated names are one way that women are holding on to their identity. But the end of the day, if a name change is the only way to prove one’s allegiance to the spouse then it’s only fair the husband change his name too. And true equality will only be achieved when the name of the mother also being a part of the child’s name.

Reading time: 6 min

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

All are equal in the eyes of the law…or are they?

April 12, 2018 by ashwini 12 Comments

In this blog post I will try and as comprehensively as is possible in a blog post, assess whether our Indian Legal system reflects the true spirit of Feminism or not. In case you would like to know more, please click on the hyperlinks throughout the post for in-depth study.

Purpose of Law

The law of the land is meant to guide people along the path of acceptable behaviour. Those who stray from the path become liable for punishment. It also upholds the rights of all of its people.

The Origin: The Constitution of India

The Constitution of India is the holy grail of the Indian Legal System. It is the supreme law. It bestows Equality, Freedom, Fraternity and Justice upon the citizens of India. It lays down the basic framework based on which every other law in India has been enacted. No law can be passed in our country if it does not agree with the Constitution of India.

Now Article 14 and 15 of the Constitution of India touch upon Equality

Article 14: Equality before Law

“The state shall not deny to any person equality before the law or the equal protection of the laws within the territory of India.”

This article without any exception, clearly indicates that men and women are equal in the eyes of law.

Article 15: Prohibition of Discrimination on grounds of Religion, Race, Caste, Sex or Place of Birth

If the article is read solely form the angle of Gender Equality –

There can be no discrimination in general on the ground of sex,
Special provision in the case of women and children are permissible.

Article 15 reinforces the equality principle in Article 14 but it also provides for special provisions for women if the need arises.

The rationale behind special provisions for women

Article 15 of the Constitution of India, allows for special provisions for women. And there are valid reasons for it. Women were and still are a minority group when it comes to several rights. Their position needs to be alleviated for true equality to be achieved. This is the reason why the law allows the State to support women in the following ways:

a) Setting up institutions exclusively for women

b) Reservation for women at public entertainments or in public conveyances

Before you think that women abuse this protection, please read this article by Bindu N. Doddahatti, an advocate at the Alternative Law Forum, Bangalore that busts the myth.

Gender Disparity in the Lawmakers and Protectors

The following 3 facts indicate the Gender disparity that exists in our lawmakers.

a) Drafting the Constitution of India

There were only 15 women members in the Constituent Assembly comprising of 299 members led by B.R. Ambedkar who debated and drafted the Constitution of India. Only a mere 5% of women had a say in the drafting of the supreme law of the country.

b) Low representation of women in Parliament

The following extract from an article in ‘The Wire’ lays bare the dismal statistics of women in politics.

The Parliament makes the laws of the country. A mere 11.8% of women have a say in the laws made by the supreme legislative body of our country.

c) Low representation of women in the Indian Judiciary

Our Courts uphold the rule of law. And yet after 70 years of the judiciary, we have 1 current woman Supreme Court Judge out of a total of 25 i.e. 4% with the historical numbers being 6 out of 229 i.e. 2.6%. Senior Advocate Indu Malhotra is set to join the current sitting judge– Justice Bhanumati, with the latter set to retire in 2020. We have never had a woman Chief Justice of India.

The state of the High Courts is slightly better with 4 Chief Justices and 68 women judges comprising of 10.86% of the total number of judges.

How can our lawmakers and protectors be expected to uphold the law in its true spirit of Feminism when wide gender disparity is present in these systems?

Our laws

Several laws have been enacted to protect the rights of women. And yet the sex ratio in India is on the decline!
Many laws and provisions do not reflect the spirit of Feminism. In an extensive ana 2014 UN Report found several aspects lacking in our laws. The report finds the Hindu Succession Act 1956 to contain provisions that favour the husband’s family. According to the report the implementation of the Dowry Prohibition Act 1961 has been weak and how the courts have interpreted the definition of “dowry” narrowly. Read a summary of the report as published by digital news outlet, Quartz India.
Some laws and provisions that would further the cause of Feminism are waiting to be enacted

Criminalizing Marital Rape – By not considering marital rape as an offence, today we are condoning domestic violence.

Women’s Political Participation Act – We know from about the lack of women in our law making bodies and yet this law is waiting to be passed.

Decriminalizing homosexuality – Feminism propagates equality for all and hence stands against the discrimination of the members of the LGBTQ community

Amending the Medical Termination Of Pregnancy Act, 1971 – The conditions under which an abortion can be carried out are too rigid. Women must have more rights over their body.

Some provisions are biased in favour of women and wrongfully so – such as the provision for adultery in the IPC.

Section 497, Indian Penal Code, 1860 makes adultery (sexual intercourse not amounting to rape) in marriage a crime with punishment up to 5 years of imprisonment or with fine or both.

it is tilted in favour of the women

A woman cannot be punished under the section for adultery and neither does she have the right to prosecute her own husband for adultery. Only the aggrieved husband has the right to prosecute the accused husband.
Adultery with a married woman is a punishable offense and not that with an unmarried woman
If a woman commits adultery with the consent or owing to the connivance of her husband, then it is not considered a criminal offense at all. This reduces the woman to be the ‘property of her husband’
The woman who commits adultery is not considered an abettor and is not liable to punishment under the section.

Here is an extract from a reputed legal source that summarizes the issue beautifully.

Sec 497 of the IPC must be amended to reflect gender equality. In view of the fact that adultery is not a threat to society, there have also been recommendations that the section needs to be decriminalized.

5. Patriarchy has not spared our justice system:

Judgements: Forcing Husband To Get Separated From His Parents, Amounts To ’Cruelty’ – this is a SC judgement. There are several others like these. But if our judges are primarily men who have been socially conditioned to believe in certain norms of our society, we can’t really blame them.
Legal Language: Social activist Avantika Tiwari highlights the patriarchal tone in the language of the law in her spirited article commenting on the provisions of Section 354 and 509 of the Indian Penal Code. Section 354 deals with “criminal assault of women to outrage women’s modesty”, and Section 509 speaks of punishing an individual /individuals for using a “word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman.” What this means is…

From the above analysis, we can see that a lot has been done by our Indian Legal System to bring down gender inequality. However loopholes in the provisions, bottlenecks in their implementation, gender disparity in justice system and non- existence of some important laws defeat the principle of Feminism.

While in most cases, it favours the male gender, the provision for adultery is skewed in favour of the woman. The imbalance in both cases must be rectified. While social conditioning is required to change the perceptions and behaviours of people, a robust and supportive legal system will accelerate the transformation.

Disclaimers:

I am not a law professional. I have studied some aspects of law. But overall my understanding of law is basic. The research for the entire article is based on secondary resources and some help from some lawyer friends who also helped vet this post.

I am no Kamla Bhasin, the famous Feminist and Activist. I am at the nascent stage of the Feminism journey. I am still speaking from personal experiences or learning from other feminist voices.

As I live, I shall learn. In case someone who is reading this knows more about Law or Feminism or both, do let me know. I promise to hear you out and incorporate changes if so need be.

Reading time: 7 min

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

Is Feminism killing Femininity?

April 11, 2018 by ashwini 23 Comments

Through this post I would like to answer the important question: Is Feminism killing Femininity?

What is Feminism really?

Feminism believes in Equality. It anti-injustice.

Feminism questions gender norms. It condemns patriarchy and empowers women.

Feminism does not propagate supremacy of women. Neither is it anti-men. Nor is it against our culture.

Now let us see why some people think that this egalitarian principle is considered anti-feminine and whether this assumption holds any water. Here are some Myths about Feminism:

Feminists don’t like girly things

Here is the first paragraph from Wikipedia on Femininity

Femininity (also called girlishness, womanliness or womanhood) is a set of attributes, behaviours, and roles generally associated with girls and women. Femininity is partially socially constructed, being made up of both socially-defined and biologically-created factors. This makes it distinct from the definition of the biological female sex, as both males and females can exhibit feminine traits.

It sure seems so that Wikipedia supports Feminism. Because of this line – ‘This makes it distinct from the definition of the biological female sex, as both males and females can exhibit feminine traits.’

From the above line, it can be deduced that femininity is not restricted to just the female gender! Even males can be feminine. And if you are a Feminist, you will not think less of a man who is effeminate. I loved this answer from Manu Kanchan on Quora about how Feminism expands the idea of womanhood.

Now femininity is also socially constructed. So it could change from time to time. It doesn’t have to be a rigid definition.

The #LikeAGirl campaign threw light on the fact that sexism sets in from a very young age. It asked the important question why “run like a girl” could not mean “win the race”.

By the above logic, why does femininity have to mean “delicate” or “submissive”?

Why can’t femininity mean “strong” or “independent”?

Feminism doesn’t lay down rules and regulations on how people need to look or behave. As long as they are aware of their rights,

Feminism does not have a problem with people embracing their femininity whichever way they define it.

Feminists are not feminine and hence are not attractive

Traditionally women had to look a particular way (read: long hair, clear skin, pink cheeks, petite figure) to be considered feminine and hence attractive. But why does a world filled with millions of women, need to fit one mould? And why should they give in to someone else’s definition? Why can’t a strong or independent woman still be attractive to men? A secure and evolved man will be attracted to the qualities that make a woman stand out rather than those that make her fit in.

Just like the definition of femininity is open to interpretation, so is the subject of attraction.

Femininity is a part of our culture while feminism is not

Femininity has traditionally been associated with stereotypical roles based on stereotypical behaviours. Based on the notion that women are more kind and caring, they have been expected to play roles of caregivers: homemakers, doctors, teachers etc. Feminism questions these norms. It encourages women to pursue a profession most suited to their individual strengths. Division of labour in earlier times was based on strength. Today when jobs are all about mental abilities and aptitude, the traditional roles don’t make sense. But it does not make it against our culture or tradition.

People define their culture, not the other way around.

Feminism has killed romance

Some people argue that Feminism is unromantic. I would vehemently disagree. It is the Feminist that wears its rose-tinted glasses and imagines a world where a woman is truly at the centre of her own world. She doesn’t need permission from anyone to pursue her dreams. She doesn’t have to wait for her Prince Charming; she could pursue him. He doesn’t have to be the only one lighting the scented candles, she could surprise him as well.

When a balance is achieved in giving and receiving, both men and women can experience romance.

Feminists traded femininity for power

Now, I have to admit that women have in the past, tried to look like a man by wearing trousers to work so that they would fit in. Today more and more women dress whichever way the wish. But when Feminism preaches equality, it does not mean men and women have to look alike. According to Feminism, anyone who has the capabilities to get to the corner office, he/she must sit in it. It should not matter what they look like or wear.

One’s gender definitely should not be an impediment to their professional pursuits.

From the above I guess it is clear that –

Feminism hasn’t killed Femininity. It has redefined it.

Reading time: 4 min

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

Jaane do nahin…Jaane do

April 10, 2018 by ashwini 11 Comments

How many times have you heard this phrase – ‘Jaane do’? Translated as ‘Let it go’, it is uttered by many of us who hate confrontations.

‘The shopkeeper cheated me.’

-‘Jaane Do. It’s only 10 rupees’

‘The teacher was unfair to me.’

-‘Jaane do. Study harder next time.’

‘It felt so uncomfortable to be continually stared at the bus stop by that creepy son of Mr. Agarwal.’

-‘(Swear words followed by a Sigh) Jaane Do! You just be more careful and alert. Never wait alone at the bus stop. Wait with your friends.’

‘I want to go on a Solo Trip mom. Jaane do na?’

-‘No. Are you mad? It’s not safe. Spend you Holidays learning something useful.

Did you picture a girl talking to her mother in the last 2 conversations?

Did the ‘Jaane Do’ in the answers seem unjustified in the last 2 cases?

In case you answered ‘Yes’ for both the questions, you know what I ‘m talking about.

We remove ourselves from the situation when things go wrong by saying ‘Jaane Do’. We convince ourselves that we are doing the right thing by saying No when she asks ‘Jaane Do’ (translated as ‘Let me go’).

Crimes against women are on the rise. According to the 2016 statistics published by the National Crime Records Bureau, ‘Assault on Women with Intent to Outrage her Modesty’ comprises of 25% of cases. 19% of the reported cases fell under the ‘Kidnapping & Abduction of Women’ category and 11.5% of the cases were categorized as ‘Rape’. We all know that a large percentage of cases go unreported because of victim shaming. I have already spoken about this in my earlier post – ‘He Who Must Not be Named or Shamed’.

Don’t you think that the crimes are rising because of our ‘Jaane Do’ attitude?

She will go out.

Kamla Bhasin, famous Feminist and activist, in this wonderful poem recital ‘Main bhi baahar jaaongi’ or #IWillGoOut, expresses so beautifully why a woman will go out of the house.

Women can and must leave their homes to achieve their dreams. They have a right to their independence. And no one has the right to take it from them.

I was mighty impressed by this short film by Anurag Kashyap – ‘That Day After Every Day’ where three seemingly normal lower middle-class women take matters into their own hands to ensure that their independence is not snatched away by some dhobi ke ladke in their locality. Even though subject to patriarchy, these women didn’t succumb to the ‘Jaane Do’ philosophy propagated by their family members and earned their right to safety. The story ends on a very inspirational note indicating that when we stand up for our rights, we earn respect.

A woman’s safety is not her responsibility alone.

I may sound impractical and ideological. But I believe this. I read an empowering article, where the author Anushree talks about how she stalked a stalker and foiled his plans. Even though she pushed this old man to prevent him from flashing and assaulting a young girl he was following on the streets, she still regretted not having intervened earlier! Anushree was also a woman. Yet she decided she must help a stranger…because it was the right thing to do.

How many of us look away or walk faster when we see a woman being teased? Again the non-confrontational attitude rears its ugly head. What we don’t realize is that every time we ignore injustice, we are also reducing the chances of getting any help when, god forbid we or our family members need it!

Ok here is a scenario. It is late in the night. A young and attractive girl is stranded in a lonely area because her car is broken down. A group of creepy looking guys in an SUV spot her and drive towards her. Are you thinking rape? Is it not possible to even imagine any other scenario? Watch this short film ‘Going Home’ by Vikas Bahl starring Alia Bhatt to know what happens.

In order to prevent our houses from being robbed, we ensure that there are CCTV cameras everywhere and reach out to our neighbours so that they help us in our times of need. But when it comes to women’s safety rather little has been achieved. We still have may poorly lit lanes and corners where creepy predators wait for their innocent preys. We still have very poor police vigilance in most areas. Read this article that talks about how the Nirbhaya Fund allocated for preventing sexual assaults on women is unspent!

There are some developments in the tech-space such as emergency features incorporated in phones or watches. But I am not sure about their effectiveness. I had tried testing Ola’s SOS feature once but it didn’t work. While doing research for this piece, I read about this Mobile App – ‘Safetipin’ which collects information about public spaces via a safety audit that can be carried out by anyone. The crowd sourced app records and displays information fed in by its users on nine parameters and gives a Safety Score to an area. Read more about the App and her motivations behind creating such a mobile application, in the words of the Founder Kalpana Viswanath, a prominent women’s rights activist.

Now a crowd sourced app will need citizen participation. I wonder if it is our Jaane Do attitude that comes in the way of us even knowing about, forget installing and using such an app!

I am an Incorrigible Feminist. I want the world to give the same rights to women as they do to men. I am not saying that men are not assaulted or raped. They are and that is just as wrong and must be prevented. But nobody tells a man to sit at home lest they get raped. But in case of a woman, unfortunately people think that is the best solution.

There are some fundamental things that are wrong with our society. These factors are causing men to rape women or assault them or eve-tease them. And no it’s not because of ‘chowmein’. There are reasons why not enough is being done for women’s safety. I don’t know the reasons. But I do know that we need to spend more time focussing on these rather than locking our women behind the doors. Today the perpetrators of crimes against women don’t feel fear while the women live with constant fear of their modesty being snatched from them. This must change.

Please don’t say ‘Jaane Do’ and definitely don’t stop her from ‘Jaane Do.’ Don’t let it be. Let her go. Let’s work together to make the world a safer place for women.

Reading time: 6 min

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One for all and all for one: Feminists & the Queer (Poem)

In the ‘Name’ of Gender Inequality

All are equal in the eyes of the law…or are they?

Is Feminism killing Femininity?

Jaane do nahin…Jaane do

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