April 2018 – Page 3 – Ashwini's Perceptions

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism, Poems

Patriarchy’s Deep Roots

April 17, 2018 by ashwini 19 Comments

Possibly a system that emerged out of insecurity,
An attempt to protect now is authority.
The father is supreme and the son gets the property.
Rules and norms further intensify the disparity.
Independence and equality shall be doom, is the prophecy.
As they whistle and stare they also preach morality.
Rape is the culture that worships virginity.
Can’t see the gaps in rights, pay or opportunities?
Humiliation, guilt and blame are tools to tame the temerity.
You know we are talking to you. Spare us the insularity.

*The above poem has been written in the Acrostic style of poetry where the first letters of each line spell out the word.

Patriarchy is an invisible monster and as a society we need to put an end to the power struggles it propagates. When we trust and believe in one another, we will all be able to grow. It’s not idealism, it’s practicality. More women in the workforce will only lead to more prosperity.

As per this year’s Economic Survey, we have made significant improvements in gender inequality in a lot of aspects. But on close inspection, we still have a deep-rooted gender bias against women. This is reflective in our “meta preference” for sons. Parents have children until they have a desired number of sons – taking the number of “unwanted” girls to 2.1 crores according to this year’s Economic Survey. Mind you, before you begin to think that this happens only in impoverished rural families, the Survey pointed that it prevails also in middle and upper-middle class families as well.

Sex determination is an offense. No problem! We still have a way to circumvent it…keep having kids till we have a son!

Our workplace statistics are startling:

a. The labour force participation rate for women is falling: from 37% in 2004-05 to 28% in 2016.

b. The Pipeline for Women Starts Small and Continues to Shrink

c. Women earn 57% of what their male colleagues earn for performing the same work with the gender pay gap widening with her education and advancement in her career.

d. Read more about the pay gap issue in Women’s Cricket here.

I have already spoken about the representation of women or lack thereof in our films and the Indian legal system.

Whether a woman has the right to go out or the right to raise her voice against assault or name her assaulter or change her name, it is not a decision for the system to make – it is hers and hers alone. We need to abort the growing sexism.

My fight against the system of Patriarchy, makes me an Incorrigible Feminist. When will you become one?

Reading time: 2 min

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism, Poems

One for all and all for one: Feminists & the Queer (Poem)

April 16, 2018 by ashwini 24 Comments

Equality does not discriminate.

The rights of the woman or man

Or the queer one’s fate

Is not for the supreme power

To calculate.

There is need to educate.

Being born as a girl

And not a boy, does not make you inadequate.

Being queer is natural,

It’s not a joke or illness, so don’t humiliate.

We must contemplate.

Why the queers are not allowed

To procreate.

They also can’t marry or parent

Lest they contaminate?

Accept, don’t differentiate.

Let her race wearing her spikes

Or lead in her heels in a corporate

She can choose to marry or not

Or celebrate her same sex soul mate.

Recognize talent that’s innate.
Why stare at her assets

Or laugh at his effeminate voice to subjugate?

Equal pay for equal efforts

Should be a basic mandate.

Victory is but a stalemate.

Misogyny and Homophobia

Reduce us to slave state.

The same traditions and customs

Also make you suffocate.

Time to embrace and liberate.

Aren’t we all

Just as ‘queer’ as we are straight?

Ditch the binary. Adopt the plural.

Let us give our gender norms an update.

We won’t yield. So don’t dominate.

We are unified against oppression.

We won’t let you manipulate.

Feminists and the Queer- we have but one aim,

Patriarchy, soon you shall disintegrate.

The destination of a Feminist and the LGBTQ+ community is the same, then why should our journeys be different?

Note: When I use the word queer in quotes, I refer to it being strange or odd. But when I use it without quotes, I refer to the umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual and/or not cisgender.

Reading time: 1 min

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

In the ‘Name’ of Gender Inequality

April 15, 2018 by ashwini 18 Comments

We are not born with a name. It is a social construct. But it forms a huge part of our identity. Ideally it is only in unavoidable circumstances that one would change it.

What are the reasons why men would change their name?

1) For want of a better name: Parents named you Chintu? Simple enough reason for a man of legal age to change his name!

2) For easy pronunciation: Indian names with many syllables are very difficult to pronounce making it difficult for its bearer to want to survive abroad – so Kalpen Suresh Modi split his first name to become Kal Penn. I wonder if Chan Kong-Sang would have been as famous as the Jackie Chan if he had not changed his name!

3) For a certain gravitas: Of course we know a lot of Hindi film actors who changed their names to add some persona to their names: Harihar Jethalal Jariwala became Sanjeev Kumar, Jaikishen Kaku Bhai became Jackie Shroff (Jackie seems to be a very lucky name but err…did not work for Jackky Bhagnani did it? Oh but he spells it slightly differently! More on that later…) All of this makes sense. Why Sunny and Bobby are better that Ajay and Vijay… I don’t know!!

4) For preventing discrimination: A lot of men from Bihar from lower caste adopted the generic ‘Kumar’ meaning ‘son’ in order to not reveal their backgrounds. Dileep Kumar changed his name from Mohammed Yusuf Khan in order to ensure that the anti-Islamic elements did not affect his popularity.

5) For numerological reasons: Rajkummar Rao added an extra ‘m’ to his name for numerological reason. Notably, he earlier identified himself as Rajkumar Yadav. He says he dropped the ‘Yadav’ because did not want to be mistaken as Rajpal Yadav, another actor in the Hindi Film industry. But it could also be for the same reason as stated in the earlier point.

6) When you change your religion: Music legend, A R Rahman was born Dileep Kumar (I know irony right?). When he adopted the religion of Islam, he changed his name to All-Rakha Rahman.

7) For showing support to their mothers and wives: Did this reason shock you? Hindi Filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali dropped his father’s name from his and replaced it with his mother as a tribute to her. Journalist and columnist, Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar, made his wife’s (Shahnaz Anklesaria Aiyar) maiden name a part of his name in a move that put him in some august company. The Beatles band member John Lennon became John Winston Ono Lennon when he added his wife, Yoko Ono’s maiden name. Oh and BTW, John wanted to drop ‘Winston’ but he wasn’t allowed to revoke a name given at birth! There are several other Hollywood celebrities who adopted their wives’ names.

The above was not meant to be an exhaustive list. The point I was trying to make was that if a man had to change the name he was born with – he did it because he wished to. There was no rule book, there was no custom requiring him to do so.

What are the reasons a woman has to change her name?

A woman could technically choose to change her name for all the reasons a man would. But usually she ends up changing her name (mostly the surname or last name but sometimes the first name as well!) when she gets married- as a way to show her allegiance to the family she is marrying into. She has very little choice in the matter and it would be seen as breaking tradition if she didn’t do so.

How much time goes into changing your name?

The actual name change process may take around 1 month. But then you have to update a whole lot of documents – at your Workplace, Banks, Credit Cards, Driver’s License, Pan Card, Passport, Adhaar Card, Ration Card, voter ID card etc. It could easily take 6 months to a year or more, depending upon the efficiency of several government agencies. And in between all these name changes, you will have to roam around with your Marriage Certificate and name change documents to prove to people why you are not a terrorist trying to assume a new identity!

Earlier, a name change would not require so much effort. Today it is a long drawn procedure. These practical aspects must be taken into consideration before following traditions blindly.

Is it easy to get used to a new name?

When women in India change their names post marriage i.e. a good two decades into their lives, it could take months or years to get used to it. I can’t imagine how long it took actress Hazel Keech (wife of Indian Cricketer Yuvraj Singh) to get used to the name Gurbasant Kaur!

Aap Ms. ho ki Mrs.?

Say you do not change your name. The nation still wants to know if you’re married or not. So they will ask you if you are ‘Ms.’ or ‘Mrs.’! Interestingly, both are abbreviations of the root word ‘Mistress’ (i.e. the female equivalent of ‘Mister’) and neither were supposed to carry any marital connotation! The Mr., short for Mister of course never needed any indicator of his marriage status.

Aeji, Oji, Suniyeji

So while the wife is getting used to her new name, she must restrain herself from taking her hubby’s! Ok, so you can get your head around this a bit. There is usually a large age-gap between the spouses and we respect our elders.

Making ‘Gender Equality’ a household name

In my case – I feel like I have the best of both worlds. Belonging to a Nair community in Kerala, prior to marriage, I had my mother’s surname and my father’s name next to mine. When I got married, I replaced my father’s name with my husband’s but continue to use my mother’s surname. It makes me feel like I have connected my past with my future. While there was still some name change involved and frustrating documentation to be done, I still feel that I don’t have such a raw deal as a lot of women. And that’s heart-breaking.

The way I look at it is that as long as patrilocality exists (i.e. when a wife moves into the husband’s family home), the wife will be expected to take the family name. My guess is that as more and more nuclear families come about with both spouses contributing equally to the household, there will be less and less familial pressures to follow customs blindly. Today hyphenated names are one way that women are holding on to their identity. But the end of the day, if a name change is the only way to prove one’s allegiance to the spouse then it’s only fair the husband change his name too. And true equality will only be achieved when the name of the mother also being a part of the child’s name.

Reading time: 6 min

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

The Woman Who Cried Marital Abuse

April 13, 2018 by ashwini 10 Comments

‘She is a woman with loose morals. She tortured me. She has no respect for me.’ If you hear a man say these words how would you react?

Now what if I just change the perspective –

‘He is a big flirt. He tortured me. He hasn’t treated me like a wife.‘

Has your reaction changed?

These were the words that Hasin Jahan, wife of Indian cricket speedster Mohammed Shami uttered. And the world has declared her a liar. At least in the Aesop’s Fable ‘The boy who cried wolf’, the shepherd boy is given 3-4 chances before he is considered a liar.

Why is a woman who claims of having faced marital abuse labelled a liar right at the outset?

Nobody knew who Hasin Jahan was until she came forth regarding a domestic violence and adultery against Shami. (Read about the case details here.) On the other hand, her husband is an Indian cricketer and hence a celebrity of sorts. So there could be only one motive she could have had: to get publicity.

Celebrity men can do no wrong

And if we consider the reverse – does Shami just by virtue of his celebrity status be automatically absolved of any wrongdoing? Sure it requires great caliber and discipline to make it to the Indian Cricket Team. But how does that automatically mean that he is not flawed as a human? What has he done to deserve our undying loyalty? Why do we declare him innocent before the courts have?

We have seen in the past how our love for Hindi Film stars has coloured our opinions of them so much that we have forgiven them for the possession of drugs, physical abuse, murder…so on and so forth. In a recent case in the south, Malayalam actor Dileep was booked for the crime of masterminding the rape of a film actress, Bhavna. A lot of his influential male colleagues came in support of him initially, because you guessed it –‘We must support him during such a tough time in his life’. Not the woman who was raped…but the already powerful film star was given support. Of course, once Dileep got arrested, these influential people are nowhere to be seen.

Attacking the one who is abused rather than the one who is accused

Shami can’t be at fault, so the other side (who was quite aware of the opposition she would face and yet went public with her side of the story) must be attacked…and mind you without any proof.

1) Shami calls Hasin a liar

He makes some vague statements and shares no proof. But as you can see from above, over 20K people support and agree with Shami.

2) The general public lashed out at Hasin

On the Facebook page that Hasin posted the screenshots of Shami’s allegedly objectionable Whatsapp conversations, she faced direct outrage from people. She received a lot of comments from Indian men calling her attention-seeking or asking her to settle things with Shami. Sure, settle because marital abuse must be swept under the carpet.

3) Shami made new claims to brand Hasin as a liar

Shami sprung new claims out of the blue that he was not aware of his wife’s first marriage prior to marrying her. This obvious attempt to malign his wife’s character, was refuted by Hasin’s lawyer. He said that these facts had not been hidden.

4) BCCI took an important step but faced backlash

There was little praise and more criticism for BCCI’s decision for withholding the central contract that was to be given to Shami.

5) Support for Shami or ganging up against Hasin?

When Hasin insinuated (she never made any official statement to the effect) that Shami could be involved in match-fixing, the cricketing community stood up in favour of Shami.

Badruddin Siddiqui, Shami’s coach who claims to have last spoken to Shami during the South African tour said that Shami is shy person. Media reports quoted him saying:

“His wife’s accusation is totally false. The couple should have sorted out the matter among themselves.”

Respected cricketer and ex-India Captain, Kapil Dev went one step further calling Hasin’s allegations ‘nasty’ and ‘sickening’.

“Shami is a brilliant hardworking cricketer. I agree that his personal relationship is in trouble currently but such kind of allegations by his wife is nasty and sickening until proven.”

“I refuse to believe the allegations that have been leveled by Shami’s wife. If she knew about match-fixing then why didn’t she report about it earlier? When the relationship was fine, why was she silent then? There is an investigation team. Let them do their work. If Shami has done something like this then it is unacceptable and disgraceful,”

Notice the words used to describe Shami- ‘shy’, ‘hardworking’, ‘brilliant’.

In relation to the allegations made by Hasin Jahan, the words used are – ‘totally false’, ‘sort out the matter’, ‘personal relationship is in trouble’, ‘nasty and sickening’.

Prior to the matter being adjudicated, it is a simple matter of ‘He said, She said’. But of course, what he said is true and what she said false!

BCCI gave Shami his contract under the pretext of absolving him of match-fixing charges forgetting that the contract was withheld for an entirely different reason. Today, Shami’s life is pretty much back to normal -he’s representing the country and playing for the IPL. Does anyone care what happens to his ‘personal’ case?

Marital abuse has no place in our patriarchal world

Nobody came to support Hasin Jahan- the woman who cried marital abuse. She cried and cried. But the big bad world did not care. Because she was lying right from the beginning. Because there is no such thing as marital abuse- everyone knows a man can do whatever he wants in a marriage. A woman who complains about her husband and defames him in public is a woman of loose morals. A man’s reputation must be protected, a woman’s reputation…what is that? Her reputation is linked with her family and she has spoilt her family name. Let this be a lesson to all women. Let them think twice before complaining about their husband. They must know that they will fight a lone battle. Their cries will not be heard.

Sigh! Patriarchy, when will you learn?!

Reading time: 5 min

A-Z of Feminism (Blogging Challenge 2018 #Blogchatter), Feminism

All are equal in the eyes of the law…or are they?

April 12, 2018 by ashwini 12 Comments

In this blog post I will try and as comprehensively as is possible in a blog post, assess whether our Indian Legal system reflects the true spirit of Feminism or not. In case you would like to know more, please click on the hyperlinks throughout the post for in-depth study.

Purpose of Law

The law of the land is meant to guide people along the path of acceptable behaviour. Those who stray from the path become liable for punishment. It also upholds the rights of all of its people.

The Origin: The Constitution of India

The Constitution of India is the holy grail of the Indian Legal System. It is the supreme law. It bestows Equality, Freedom, Fraternity and Justice upon the citizens of India. It lays down the basic framework based on which every other law in India has been enacted. No law can be passed in our country if it does not agree with the Constitution of India.

Now Article 14 and 15 of the Constitution of India touch upon Equality

Article 14: Equality before Law

“The state shall not deny to any person equality before the law or the equal protection of the laws within the territory of India.”

This article without any exception, clearly indicates that men and women are equal in the eyes of law.

Article 15: Prohibition of Discrimination on grounds of Religion, Race, Caste, Sex or Place of Birth

If the article is read solely form the angle of Gender Equality –

There can be no discrimination in general on the ground of sex,
Special provision in the case of women and children are permissible.

Article 15 reinforces the equality principle in Article 14 but it also provides for special provisions for women if the need arises.

The rationale behind special provisions for women

Article 15 of the Constitution of India, allows for special provisions for women. And there are valid reasons for it. Women were and still are a minority group when it comes to several rights. Their position needs to be alleviated for true equality to be achieved. This is the reason why the law allows the State to support women in the following ways:

a) Setting up institutions exclusively for women

b) Reservation for women at public entertainments or in public conveyances

Before you think that women abuse this protection, please read this article by Bindu N. Doddahatti, an advocate at the Alternative Law Forum, Bangalore that busts the myth.

Gender Disparity in the Lawmakers and Protectors

The following 3 facts indicate the Gender disparity that exists in our lawmakers.

a) Drafting the Constitution of India

There were only 15 women members in the Constituent Assembly comprising of 299 members led by B.R. Ambedkar who debated and drafted the Constitution of India. Only a mere 5% of women had a say in the drafting of the supreme law of the country.

b) Low representation of women in Parliament

The following extract from an article in ‘The Wire’ lays bare the dismal statistics of women in politics.

The Parliament makes the laws of the country. A mere 11.8% of women have a say in the laws made by the supreme legislative body of our country.

c) Low representation of women in the Indian Judiciary

Our Courts uphold the rule of law. And yet after 70 years of the judiciary, we have 1 current woman Supreme Court Judge out of a total of 25 i.e. 4% with the historical numbers being 6 out of 229 i.e. 2.6%. Senior Advocate Indu Malhotra is set to join the current sitting judge– Justice Bhanumati, with the latter set to retire in 2020. We have never had a woman Chief Justice of India.

The state of the High Courts is slightly better with 4 Chief Justices and 68 women judges comprising of 10.86% of the total number of judges.

How can our lawmakers and protectors be expected to uphold the law in its true spirit of Feminism when wide gender disparity is present in these systems?

Our laws

Several laws have been enacted to protect the rights of women. And yet the sex ratio in India is on the decline!
Many laws and provisions do not reflect the spirit of Feminism. In an extensive ana 2014 UN Report found several aspects lacking in our laws. The report finds the Hindu Succession Act 1956 to contain provisions that favour the husband’s family. According to the report the implementation of the Dowry Prohibition Act 1961 has been weak and how the courts have interpreted the definition of “dowry” narrowly. Read a summary of the report as published by digital news outlet, Quartz India.
Some laws and provisions that would further the cause of Feminism are waiting to be enacted

Criminalizing Marital Rape – By not considering marital rape as an offence, today we are condoning domestic violence.

Women’s Political Participation Act – We know from about the lack of women in our law making bodies and yet this law is waiting to be passed.

Decriminalizing homosexuality – Feminism propagates equality for all and hence stands against the discrimination of the members of the LGBTQ community

Amending the Medical Termination Of Pregnancy Act, 1971 – The conditions under which an abortion can be carried out are too rigid. Women must have more rights over their body.

Some provisions are biased in favour of women and wrongfully so – such as the provision for adultery in the IPC.

Section 497, Indian Penal Code, 1860 makes adultery (sexual intercourse not amounting to rape) in marriage a crime with punishment up to 5 years of imprisonment or with fine or both.

it is tilted in favour of the women

A woman cannot be punished under the section for adultery and neither does she have the right to prosecute her own husband for adultery. Only the aggrieved husband has the right to prosecute the accused husband.
Adultery with a married woman is a punishable offense and not that with an unmarried woman
If a woman commits adultery with the consent or owing to the connivance of her husband, then it is not considered a criminal offense at all. This reduces the woman to be the ‘property of her husband’
The woman who commits adultery is not considered an abettor and is not liable to punishment under the section.

Here is an extract from a reputed legal source that summarizes the issue beautifully.

Sec 497 of the IPC must be amended to reflect gender equality. In view of the fact that adultery is not a threat to society, there have also been recommendations that the section needs to be decriminalized.

5. Patriarchy has not spared our justice system:

Judgements: Forcing Husband To Get Separated From His Parents, Amounts To ’Cruelty’ – this is a SC judgement. There are several others like these. But if our judges are primarily men who have been socially conditioned to believe in certain norms of our society, we can’t really blame them.
Legal Language: Social activist Avantika Tiwari highlights the patriarchal tone in the language of the law in her spirited article commenting on the provisions of Section 354 and 509 of the Indian Penal Code. Section 354 deals with “criminal assault of women to outrage women’s modesty”, and Section 509 speaks of punishing an individual /individuals for using a “word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman.” What this means is…

From the above analysis, we can see that a lot has been done by our Indian Legal System to bring down gender inequality. However loopholes in the provisions, bottlenecks in their implementation, gender disparity in justice system and non- existence of some important laws defeat the principle of Feminism.

While in most cases, it favours the male gender, the provision for adultery is skewed in favour of the woman. The imbalance in both cases must be rectified. While social conditioning is required to change the perceptions and behaviours of people, a robust and supportive legal system will accelerate the transformation.

Disclaimers:

I am not a law professional. I have studied some aspects of law. But overall my understanding of law is basic. The research for the entire article is based on secondary resources and some help from some lawyer friends who also helped vet this post.

I am no Kamla Bhasin, the famous Feminist and Activist. I am at the nascent stage of the Feminism journey. I am still speaking from personal experiences or learning from other feminist voices.

As I live, I shall learn. In case someone who is reading this knows more about Law or Feminism or both, do let me know. I promise to hear you out and incorporate changes if so need be.

Reading time: 7 min

Page 3 of 6« First...«234 5 »...Last »

Patriarchy’s Deep Roots

One for all and all for one: Feminists & the Queer (Poem)

In the ‘Name’ of Gender Inequality

The Woman Who Cried Marital Abuse

All are equal in the eyes of the law…or are they?

About me

Socialize with me

Categories

Popular Posts

Rape Culture Is Real

Don’t let Gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse make you forget your true self

What Women Don’t Want

Conversations about Gender Representation in Films and the Bechdel Test

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Archives: Jump to the blog post you are looking for